Post-War Delicacy: The Life Experience

A “Life Experience” is a dish that isn’t cooked. It is crafted. It requires a lot of foraging and scavenging in order to make. Only the most diehard survivors can even attempt to gather the ingredients.

The following ingredients create a single serving. It is not recommended to do more than one at a time. Do not deviate from the recipe, you will not get another chance.

-1 plank of wood salvaged from a saltwater Sunken Ship
-60 grape leaves, each plucked from a different vine
-1 Rosa Bianca Eggplant harvested at midnight on a blue moon
-2 cups of uncooked jasmine rice
-1/2 cup fresh mint leaves
-2 quarts of safflower oil, collected from a rainbow of flowers
-1 teaspoon of bamboo salt
-2 quarts of chicken broth made from a chicken slaughtered during a loving embrace
-1 Vidalia onion
-1/2 cup of dill, grown in home soil
-1 cup of lemon juice made of lemons fertilized with bone dust

-Cast-iron pot seasoned with herbs collected from battlefields
-Knife that has experienced the struggle of survival. One that has saved a life and taken a life.
-Femur or other long bone of a dear friend or despised enemy shaped into a spoon, carved to expose the marrow

  1. In a large saucepan over medium-high heat, sauté the rice, onion, dill, and mint for about 5 minutes, or until onion is soft. Pour in 1 quart of broth, reduce heat to low and simmer for another 10 to 15 minutes, or until rice is almost cooked. Stir in 1/2 of lemon juice and remove from heat.
  2. Take one leaf, shiny side down, and place 1 teaspoon of the rice mixture at the bottom (stem) end of the leaf. Fold both sides of the leaf towards the center, roll up from the broad bottom to the top, and place into a 4-quart pot. Repeat with all leaves, leaving no gaps as leaves are placed in pot (to prevent from opening while cooking). Sprinkle with remaining lemon juice and with olive oil.
  3. Pour chicken broth over all to cover grape leaves. Cover pot and simmer for about 1 hour (do not boil, because this will make the stuffing burst out of the leaves).
  4. Serve over a smoothed salvaged-wood plate. Contemplate over the generations that came before you and the experiences that shaped the flavors that you are about to enjoy. Good luck.


4 Replies to “Post-War Delicacy: The Life Experience”

  1. This almost sounds like a recipe one could follow — except maybe the bone a friend or foe. Did you do this for the Strange Brew daily create? Or was this a writing assignment for this week?

  2. Neat recipe! Maybe one day I will have the resources to make it myself–every time I try to grow my own 60 separate grape plants my camp gets overridden or destroyed. I’d love to see how it turns out for others, though!

  3. How creative! I love how it’s set up like a real life recipe but with a funny spin on it. Love it! Keep up the great work!

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